I’m back, as I just couldn’t resist trying out my new “screen capture” skills.

  And I got lucky, thanks to the vigilant bloggers who follow The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Some tweeps of mine tweeted a link to a video on youtube.com of Kyle and Taylor being drilled by paparazzi outside the Season One series premiere party for the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I think bloggers Reality Tea or Absurd To Sublime blogged about it, and probably some more, too, so I’m mentioning this because I’ve learned the hard way bloggers are a vicious gang you do not want to cross! I’ve seen the body count, so just saying….

Anyway, I was watching the above mentioned interview and two things happened: one, I got the most hilarious screen capture of Taylor, through no quick-wit of my own, as it happens, but because my computer kept doing that freeze and load thingie, and voila; and two, I realized I had totally overlooked some obvious questions and answers about Kyle and Kim, things I completely didn’t connect until now. Oh, yes, I’m a dullard…must be all that catnip.

Here’s the screen capture, if I can manage to get it up, and then the questions and answers:

This may be my favorite photo of Taylor. I wish I could come up with a Real City Housewife or Really Old Housewife or Tinsel Kitty witticism here, but I’m just not that good. So Taylor’s strange face will have to speak for itself.

Okay, I just had to come back and do it again. It’s too good.

I’ve turned into Andy Cohen. I’m obsessed with Taylor’s lips! Just one more….

Okay, now I’m just being mean.

On to the Q & A: I’ve been reading lots of comments and arguments around the Internet about Kyle’s and Kim’s stormy relationship and most of them have questions about whether Kyle and Kim made up, will they be able to move forward, etc. While the upshot is usually we’ll have to wait for the reunion this week, watching the aforementioned premiere party video reminded me that we’ve seen these sisters together on many TV shows promoting the series–long after the smackdown in the limo.

Hello? Here they are on The Wendy Williams’ Show, and it’s eleven plus minutes of recapping how this all started out last October, worth watching again if you have a memory as pathetic as mine. Kyle and Kim both comment on their ups and downs in the show, but they don’t seem to be icing each other, either. Here, on the Today Show, they are all friendly, answer lots of questions, and look tight as tics.

So the upshot as I see it is that Kyle and Kim either had made their peace by October or at least put on a good front when the cameras started rolling. 

I know many of you have already figured this out, as well. I said I’m slow.

Oh, and love or hate Taylor, that dress she was wearing at the RHBH’s premiere party was to die for!

Can’t wait until Thursday night for the first part of the Reunion Show. I think. Though the first time I view these now, I’m sometimes peeking through my fingers. The Real Housewives series have become a bit like watching a wreck: I want to look away, but I…just…can’t….

Hey, peeps! It’s me back!

Don’t know where my blog partner Sydney is lately. I think she’s in the witness protection program after testifying against The Doberman Gang. 

As for me, I came out of my winter hibernation to write this response to the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills finale because of the current debate on what happened: Kyle vs Kim. I decided to write this because I think a lot of people really don’t understand the dynamic of what is going on between the sisters, including Kyle and Kim. That’s the problem.

At the center of this issue is alcoholism, which I know something about and it’s no joke.  So I’m about to get serious, and let me just say up front that I don’t mean to insult or hurt anyone, nor am I an expert in the field of addiction.  I’m only speaking from personal experience and what I’ve learned. That’s all I can offer–inartfully, perhaps. Every situation is also different, I know. However there are some things that are universal with addiction, so that’s what I hope to share in the context of what we saw happening between Kyle and Kim this season.

Assuming Kim is actually an alcoholic–and I have no personal knowledge she is, just what we all saw: Kim is the person visiting this disease on her family. It is a disease, but the person who has it has to take responsibility for feeding it or starving it, and if Kim doesn’t, then no one else can help her. Period.

We all know the clichés about addiction. We’ve seen enough episodes of Intervention and Celebrity Rehab  (both excellent, informative programs on this disease), plus shows with Dr. Phil and Dr. Drew and countless others on the topic, to have an idea as to what is going on with the addict, enablers, and recovery.  Still, in this dialogue, what the disease does to those who live with it through their loved ones who are addicts often gets short shrift. In this case (allegedly), that would be Kyle and other family of Kim’s.

I am not judging anyone: not the addict and not the enablers. No one sets out to become an addict, and no one sets out to be consumed by that battle with someone he or she loves. I live with some of the deeper issues Kim and Kyle face because I have lifelong experience with addictions among my family and friends, including drugs and alcohol. Some have been in recovery for many years; some lost the battle in one way or another. We all bear the scars. 

Like any addict, an alcoholic will suck the very life out of everyone who loves him/her as long as the addiction is active. If left to progress, it only gets worse. It’s a lose/lose situation that changes a person one day at a time, year after year after year–death by a thousand cuts. 

You can wake up one day to the realization that stress, worry, guilt, and manipulation have reduced you to living a nightmare in which you’ve lost your own identity. What you wanted in your life fell behind long ago. You can become confused, angry, bitter, or feel helpless and depressed when you realize what you have lost to someone else’s addiction: there are no do-overs for life already lived.

You may find your relationships to others and career are damaged through years of tension wearing on your temperament and productivity. You might have spent so much time and energy dealing with a disease the addict refuses to admit is a serious problem, you have neglected others you love and they have become collateral damage. You may even begin to act badly out of your own unbalanced and desperate mental state. You can reach the point where you don’t like yourself anymore, but you don’t know what to do about it because you are so deep in the woods you have passed the point of no return. You don’t want to place blame on someone who is ill, but you strike out in pain. All because you love someone who has a disease it took you too long to understand.

That’s what Kyle has been feeling. For years. I can see it now that she has defined what her struggle is with Kim. When every day becomes one disaster-in-waiting after another, when you’ve cried a river of tears so deep your face is a carving of sorrow, when you have hit bottom so many times, only to crash through to depths you never imagined, you become damaged, too.  You may try a thousand ways to handle it, but you’re in denial as much as your addict, because it is very hard to cut someone you love out of your life when he/she is most vulnerable. You know how sick he/she is, but you cannot accept that helping is the worst thing you can do at some point. It’s counterintuitive. That’s your denial.

What was Kim feeling? I can only say what it looked like to me from watching the series: ”I need a drink.” The addict is a master at playing all situations and intentions, good or bad: charity, sympathy, pity, love, lust, anger, guilt, admiration, indifference, even an attempt to discuss a misunderstanding at a party–whatever it takes to deny the drunken truth and continue to use. That’s what addicts do. 

So I’m going to say enough with blaming Kyle for what happened on this show between her and Kim.  Kim is a grown woman and she needs to own her own life, even if  her choices bring her to a pushing a grocery cart in the street. We cannot live someone else’s life for them. It is not Kyle’s place to tell Kim not to be on the show. It is not Kyle’s responsibility if Kim drinks, sits home alone, loses her house, has no friends, fights with others, had a bad childhood, had a bad marriage, or for whatever else belongs to Kim. At this point, Kyle has one responsibility: to stop her part in the cycle of enabling Kim’s addiction.

Addiction hurts everyone. Kim looks sad, ill, and vulnerable–and she is. But she is choosing to be. Kyle looks angry, mean, and vindictive–and she is. She also is choosing. Unfortunately neither seems to know it.

 These sisters who love each other are in a struggle with addiction together. It has taken a toil on both. They need professional help. Lots of professional help. They are lucky: they can afford it. If they are strong enough, they may both recover and life will be more precious than ever to them. I hope they find that path, and may the road rise up to meet them in their difficult journey.

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This is a good time to give a shout out to two reality shows I watch which have the potential to truly help viewers by informing us on the disease of addiction.

I have watched each season of Celebrity Rehab  for all the reasons one should and shouldn’t. Ultimately, the borderline exploitation of the taudry drama that is an addict’s life is far outweighed by the pathos of humans caught up in a life and death struggle filled with hope and fear. We all could use a Dr. Drew in our lives, too.

Intervention is also a profound look at addiction, minus the celebrities. It’s more of a before rehab exposé on what addiction does to addicts and their families and the difficulty in treating this disease.

Edited to add: One of the most profound books I ever read explaining the dynamic between co-dependents is Women Who Love Too Much. I only wish I’d had this book years earlier. It took me a long time to accept the truth therein, but it is spot-on in addressing the symbiotic relationship that we saw with crystal clarity between Kim and Kyle, though this book focuses on male/female co-dependency. Also, here is a forum called “The Sober Recovery Community” discussing the book.

Yeah, it’s me, if you remember after all this time away from blogging…. (By the way, I stole this kitty photo from a news article online, about  St. Paddy’s Day–just for full disclosure. I’d give credit, but I have no idea whom to credit at this point, so if it’s yours…gulp…t’anks!)

We here at RealityWatchers have been very neglectful, we know. What can we say? At some point, there are just too many shows and one becomes overwhelmed. Or bored. Or disgusted. Or too busy watching the shows and reading all the great blogs to bother. But like a criminal returning to the scene of the crime….

So Season One of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is almost over. I might as well get in a few words on it now. It’s either this or clean house for Christmas, which I am so over house cleaning. By my age, you realize you clean house, you fuss and fret, and it always just gets dirty again. Then you realize the one thing you never thought you wanted on your headstone is “Kept a very clean house.”

On the other hand, now that Allison Dubois has pretty much confirmed for me that my headstone will read “She was NOTHING!” I don’t guess it matters. Wonder what hers will say? “Renowned Faux Psychic”?

Which brings me to Camille’s fake “reconciliation” dinner party: am I the only person who is certain Bravo is setting up the Housewives season climaxes? It’s rather formulaic by now, isn’t it? Blow out at dinner near the end of the season; bring in the nutcase and watch them all freak out.

Here’s what I found interesting with Camille and Taylor having lunch early in the episode: Camille says that her friend Allison Dubois likes to drink and “hits below the belt” when she does. It was pretty clear to me that Camille knows Allison is a mean drunk.

So what does Camille do at the dinner party? She serves drinks in super-sized martini glasses and she starts Allison on them early. There’s nothing subtle about this, is there? Camille wanted Allison to be mean. To the guests. Kyle. 

Um…don’t think less of me (you will)…but I always loved the show The Medium. I even have a copy of the ”autobiographical” book by Dubois, Don’t Kiss Them Goodbye, published in 2004. I found it in the bargain bin last year for $5. I wanted to see if the real Dubois was a total sham or just mildly delusional. I mean, if you can talk to the dead, GET THE NAME OF THE KILLER. Duh. They never do, though, do they? Big clue there. 

As to what I’ve been able to muddle through in her [boring] book , it’s the same nonsense as the ”you will never be fulfilled by your husband, KNOW THAT” and “I can head-tap you and pull thoughts” comments made to the other women at the table. It’s all a power play. What decent human being, much less a woman claiming in her book to be a compassionate psychic, blurts out hurtful innuendoes on camera to strangers and then says with a smirk “I know when she’ll die and I love that about myself”?

In short, Camille’s friend Allison is a nasty piece of work, just as Camille told us viewers in the beginning of the episode. Still, it was Camille who planned the dinner party, invited and seated the guests, liquored them up good, and then began the fireworks by rudely talking about Kyle’s friend Faye Resnick as if Faye weren’t there. If I’m not looking at her, she disappeared, Camille seemed to believe. No wonder Camille needs a medium around. 

Interesting that Camille deliberately insulted Faye at the dinner table, bringing up Faye’s Playboy spread, saying in her interview Faye is “morally corrupt” and she didn’t want to associate with those kinds of people–as if Camille’s own cheap porn past, bleached out hair, and massive plastic surgeries written all over her face and body are above that.

To make sure that the guests would soon be ”out the door” according to the previously discussed plan, Camille repeatedly said things like, “I don’t want the interesting, unpredictable, lush and medium-slash-psychic Allison who gets ‘hits’ on people when she drinks to feel like she has to perform.”  To that end, Camille and her payroll buddies introduced Allison as THE MEDIUM upon whose psychic abilities the Grammers’ popular TV production is based.  Ad nauseam. Talking down to Lisa Vanderpump as if she were handicapped because she’s unfamiliar with the show. “SHE’S THE REAL MEDIUM. PLAYED BY PATRICIA ARQUETTE. IN THE SHOW!” DD tediously over-explained. Allison beamed: “Look at me, I know your future, I know what you don’t, I’m special, I have power over you, I’m SOMEBODY! Unlike you NOBODIES! Kyle.”

What a shocker that the other women finally asked about this GREAT GIFT. You don’t have to be psychic to know that would happen. And provide the perfect opportunity to go after Kyle. Who took the bait, psychic predictions, pretend-cigarette snub, and insults all.

Mayhem followed. But it wasn’t until the other guests left that Hecate and her Weird Sisters set to work doing their worst: they slandered Kyle’s husband. Oh, yeah they did. On camera. To be aired. Fully and unambiguously implied he cheats on Kyle. Knowing full well the damage it could and they hoped would do to Kyle’s marriage. And children. What these witches said was so bad, Camille has twice publicly apologized since it aired. As if she can take it back now: either she knows something or she lied. Lawsuit, anyone? 

But my absolute favorite psychic slap of the night, because it was a subtle stunner in that company: Allison at the dinner table insulted everyone by saying she likes Saturdays because “I’M STILL YOUNG.” Did y’all see Adrienne’s face when Allison said that? Steam was rising off her forehead. But she was pure class; she sat there quietly, enduring the worst hostess and dinner party ever. She knew there was no graceful way out of this misery but to sit it out. I like Adrienne. But I would never, ever want to get on her bad side.

I do want to say I love, love LOVE Lisa! And Giggy!

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Well, thanks for a good year, dear peeps and tweeps! Happy Holidays and a very Happy New Year. God bless us, every one!

Yes, peeps, Sydney and I…well, we’ve been very, very bad bloggers. We have taken an unplanned, rather long break from the blog…obviously.  Syd’s been busy chasing tires, and me, I’ve had to catch up on my cat naps. But we’ll be back once we get all winter-coated and ready to type by the fire. So many reality shows and so little time….

In the meantime, there are so many great bloggers out there, and you know it. I’m always finding new stuff that’s so funny. It’s not like the world is suffering for lack of reality TV blogs. Ha! So that’s the good news.  I guess I’m just tired of the Housewives at this point. I already spend too much time watching them. Writing about them, as well–lord, how many are there now? Sheesh, Andy, give us a break!

Yeah, like that’s gonna’ happen….

Anyhow…we’ll be back. Sooner or later.

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In the meantime:

Found this great blog from Cranky Old Broad with lots of good stuff on the Housewives’ shenanigans.

Also, Mickey Mouth has some awesome talent that will roll you in the floor laughing with this Housewives’  photoshop site–look carefully at small details.

Yeah, it’s me, and MEEEE OOOOW!!

Poor Sydney! She’s so pitiful! Whimpering around the blog, looking for her little kitty to torture! Sorry, no pity here. While I’m typing this I’m trying not to throw up some liquid crap I have to drink fast and in large volumes for a colonoscopy tomorrow. BLECH!! PATOEY!!  What witch slaved over her cauldron for ages perfecting this torturous brew? There’s a challenge for your chefs, Sydney!! Put something in this stuff that makes it less like torture!! It’s so bad, I can’t quit using exclamation marks!!!!!!!

Speaking of food, what is it with these Housewives? They spend a lot of time in restaurants. I guess that’s why they’re on TV and I’m not; if Bravo were shooting a reality show with me, they’d see me in the kitchen a lot, along with hubby, cooking and spilling and messing up pots and pans and eating at a table, plus throw in a few arguments because Mr. Man has to ask me why I’m doing this and I have to ask him do you really want to do that. Well, I do have to watch that man like a hawk. He can cook, but turn your back and he’s doing some of that man stuff no health department is going to approve…if you know what I mean….

But back to the Real Housewives of Atlanta, Season 3: Now that’s trash I love! One day they’re hugging, the next wig pulling and choking. In your face, behind your back, pretentious without a hint of self-awareness: in other words, sublime Atlanta Housewives.

I’m going downhill fast, peeps. I was so embarrassed by these women in Season 1. No more. I was loving me some Atlanta Housewives five minutes in. This season they came out of the gate with Nene showing her stuff in Episode 1. Man oh man, I had no idea how much I missed her! I was worried I wouldn’t like her nose job, because there’s always something a little off in the photos I had seen–her nose! But I didn’t even notice once she started talking; it was the same old Nene, all sass and teeth.

And yeah, I even missed KIM! Who knew?  Kim and Nene made up right off and everything was all good again. But then the trouble starts–of course! Kim dishes about Dwight and so Nene is all mad at Dwight and her husband Greg. Oh, no, Nene! I love me some Dwight and some Greg, too!! But there she was, all snappy with Greg, all in Dwight’s face at a party about to suck the eyebrows off his forehead, she was huffing so hard. Then she was all, I feel terrible. Me, too, Nene. Not to worry, though, because in Episode 2, she made up with Dwight and I almost cried with her. Almost. I really felt more sorry for Dwight because I could see the hurt all over him. Greg is still in the doghouse. Aw, Nene. You done brung the drama!

So here comes Miss Kim. She is all wig and loopy logic and loving some man stuff since birth but no problem switching teams for a lark. Big Poppa is out…but not really, of course, as she keeps getting caught with him lurking around, like when she called in to Andy’s Watch What Happens Live and said they were over, but Andy spotted Big Pappa in the background,  stuff like that. Her parenting skills still need work. To wit: Brielle eating ice cream and talking with her mouth open was the one unwatchable scene for me. Yeah, it’s 13-year-old silliness, but just saying it went on and on and on…. Bravo! She’s a child! Isn’t there a bona fide adult anywhere in this production crew? Sheesh. Other than that, Kim seems to be a little more…finished this season. Of course, it’s early. In spite of Nene and Kim making up, we saw in the season previews they’re at it again before long. DELISH!

 Kandi is back and she is fit and ready! She was sounding good when she sang. She also has become the one person in the show who actually seems to have a foothold in reality. I like that Kandi is a good businesswoman, as well. She gives the cast some balance that way, and I think she’s officially become an essential part of the chemistry that keeps the show from sliding into pure camp. While Nene is loudly setting boundaries all over the place and Kim is floating around in fame and Big Pappa money, Kandi pulls them back to reality: “You need to calm down and get out of my face!” “Didn’t you say you would not do that interview? So why did you?” ”If somebody chokes me…I don’t need to buddy around with her.” Yeah, call them on it, Kandi!

Sheree is going downhill, too. Last season she was a budding fashion designer. Now that’s over and she’s going to be an actress. Yeah, right. Keep dating smooth men with limo service, because I’m starting to see a pattern here, Sheree. Be careful, Dwight. She’s got an axe to grind with you, too, and Nene may be the least of your worries if Sheree pops that vein out in her neck again, Boo.

I kind of miss Lisa, but the two new ladies look interesting. The lawyer, what’s her name, with the handsome hubby with the closeted prison past, is a hoot! She’s got that faux Southern Belle thing going on. It didn’t even look good on Scarlet, dahling, so don’t do that unless you want to keep us rolling in the floor, because it’s actually just bad acting. The super model is breathtakingly beautiful, but she’s not the marrying kind and I don’t blame her. Once you tie the knot, they want to brand you like cattle. You got it going on just like you want it, so listen to your instincts. I think we’re going to like you, too. UPDATE: Model Cynthia Bailey tied the knot to her restaurateur beau in July. Wish them the best!

Maybe it’s because the last season in eternity with the RHNYC was the equivalent of having a nervous breakdown every episode; maybe because the New Jersey Housewives were just nauseating to watch for the most part; or because the RHDC was all about two actual borderline criminals we disliked before the season even aired, but I’m so happy the Atlanta Housewives are back in action, entertaining us with their special brand of Southern insanity. They live large, fight hard, and then get over it–until the next time. Yeah, I like that about them.

I have to mention Andy’s Watch What Happens Live last week, with the Salahis and Nene. Nene was stunning, in every sense of the word,  all long legs and threateningly bared boobs. Andy said he wanted them to pop out, and he meant it, too. He could not quit watching them, nor could we, because it was so possible! Andy talked nose jobs with Nene–who knew Miss Andy had several?  

The Salahis, appearing after the Season Finale of the RHDC, were as evasive and trickstery as ever, refusing to clear up the little loose ends: like what’s the real story on crashing the White House; how about  the accusations that Michealaleale never was a Redskins cheerleader; and did they lose their house? But they had a sympathy card to play; Tark’s father died the day before the show. I’d feel for him, but he’s on TV smiling like the cat that ate the canary! He’s probably so happy because he sees this as a perfect opportunity to prey on his grieving mom and finally get his hands on the family winery that went bankrupt, Oasis—he mentioned the death was “healing” their relationships. You bet.

Well, I’m about done…in more ways than one. I’ll be under anesthesia in the morning, and then I’m going to look for one of those eight pound burgers Sydney so cruelly taunted me with in her last blog, when I haven’t eaten in over 24 hours. My doctor is the loveliest young woman, good bedside manner. I hope I’m in good hands, but I can’t help but wonder what is a person thinking who has spent a fortune on education and training, all to roam around in people’s bowels? I don’t know. Kind of scary, isn’t it?

So I’ll see her on the flip side, literally…and hopefully, our blog peeps, too.

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I was astonished to find an article by an esteemed journalist who is featured monthly in no less a magazine than Vanity Fair, James Wolcott, about New Jersey casts of reality TV. Oh, yeah, he skewered the RHNJ. You have to read it; if you want to skip the discussion of the movies and TV dramas, go to the middle of the article where the reality TV fun begins.

Now ya’ll know that the ole smelly cat and I can’t watch EVERY show on TV, right? That IS a reality none of us can dispute…too many shows…not enough hours in the day…not enough available prescription drugs. We tried to do the DVR thingie and at least listen to the dialogue while we slept, and on some shows that works, but I woke up way too many times in the middle of the night to find garlic being infused into extra extra virgin olive oil on my GAS stove to think the idea very safe…I don’t want to burn my home down in the process even if it WOULD help the overall neighborhood to smell better. Shows I would have liked to have seen more of or saw way too much of:

The Great Food Truck Race. Yeah, yeah…more food, I know, but like I have said before, the more of those I watch the more my family comes over to reap the rewards and the more kitchen gadgets I get as gifts…like the silly egg cracker gadget…who doesn’t know how to crack an egg, eh? We have all eaten from street stands and food trucks, and these were some of the best, making everything from French crepes to an elegant Panini (which used to be called plain ole grilled sandwiches but we have become enlightened and changed the name). One of the trucks even made banana pudding. The point was, there were 7 teams of 3 people per team and they cooked their way across America in a six-week, six-city culinary competition. It was a great competition which ended on the roof of the Flatiron building in Manhattan…what I did see was enough to make me perhaps rearrange my schedule the next season all depending on how many of the Real Housewives shows are airing by then. HIT

Thintervention – another weight loss show with catty people (except Jenna Keogh from OC housewives and former Playboy bunny) where the host works them hard at exercise, engages them in therapy sessions without a license, and teaches them how to eat right. The fact that they are ON the show needing to loose 50-150 pounds shows they knew ‘HOW’ before the show started. Some try and some rebel (why are they on to begin with then?) Some lose, some gain, a lot of anger and a lot of tears.  MISS

19 kids and Counting – Really? That’s a show? All from one set of parents?  I guess there were a couple sets of twins, but c’mon…poor Mom has been pregnant all her adult life, but I will say one thing, this family is financially independent of having the public pay for raising their kids like Nadya Suleman and Kate –Jon+ 8. The next expected show is The Greatest Number of Kids in the Fewest Pregnancies. MISS

Man vs Food – The show is another see how much you can stuff into your face show with obscene quantities of wonderful food…the guy doing it is funny and personable and gaining weight at a rapid pace, and the food (mostly comfort food) looks wonderful…always makes me want a bite or two, but NOT an 8 pound cheeseburger with a pound and a half of chili cheese fries, and a milkshake. OA people should be shown this show 24/7 and soon there would be no need for OA. I don’t think this is a ‘proper’ reality show given the obesity rates of our population especially our kids. There are the once-a-year eating contests that are shown, like Nathan’s Hot Dog Annual Contest, but really…do we need to advocate over eating on a daily basis?  MISS

Just a Bit of Humor…

 Worst title – America’s Most Smartest Model

No Need For Re-Runs – The OCD Project

 Ciao for now!

Soooooooooophiiieeeeeeeeeeeeee…please tell us what smelly cat thinks!!!

Real Housewives of Atlanta

Premieres TONIGHT – October 4^th on BRAVO

This season promises more action in the first show than the whole season of DC Housewives…

http://blog.zap2it.com/frominsidethebox/2010/10/real-housewives-of-atlanta-season-3-preview-what-to-expect-boo.html

Check out the new cast members:

http://blog.zap2it.com/frominsidethebox/2010/08/real-housewives-of-atlanta-first-look-meet-phaedra-parks-and-cynthia-bailey.html

Wellllllllllll, it’s Survivor time again…20 people…2 tribes…no food to speak of…battling the elements of Nicaragua…as the 21^st season of the show debuts with the biggest change being the show moved to Wednesday…what??? Really??? After more than 10 years on Thursday, you are going to move to Wednesdays??? Jeff Probst has won the Emmy for this show 3 times, and Thursdays weren’t working out for you, or what? Going to be hard to remember, but I will manage with the astuteness of my DVD player!

First person voted off gave them every reason at tribal council to do so, and they did…the Tribe has spoken Wendy…next time don’t go on and on about being a chatterbox.

The second person voted off gave them every reason at tribal council to do so, and they did… the Tribe has spoken Shannon…is there a pattern beginning here?…next time don’t pick a fight at tribal council.

The third person voted off, A PROVEN LEADER, past Dallas Cowboys coach Jimmie Johnson gave them every reason at tribal council to do so, and they did… the Tribe has spoken Coach Jimmie…next time don’t say you are the weakest person on the tribe, but what were they thinking? There were at least 4 alpha males on that tribe…about 3 too many!

This season the tribes are in the over age 40 and under age 30 the old tribe and the young tribe…who else foresees the old guys getting picked pretty clean pre-merge? Yeah…thought so…me too…

When you have a season where for the first time ever a person has an artificial leg and is doing tremendously in the challenges regardless, and then you have NaOnka-a-black-girl-with-attitude (who pushes the girl with the artificial leg (Kelly B.) down on the beach and later threatens to throw her artificial limb in the fire…then this “ain’t yer mama’s Survivor”…someone (anyone) should have leveled NaOnka for doing that! Her temper will get her in trouble…mark my words…I look for her to quit before she is voted off.

Anyhow…here is the cast:

Good blogger on the show! Go see him…

http://www.cbs.com/primetime/survivor/community/blogs/blog.php?key=0

Ciao-for-now!

 Ha! Thought you’d gotten rid of me, eh? No such luck!

Even cats need a vacay now and then. A week at clean-as-a-whistle Surfside Beach: perfect weather,  warm, clear, blue-green ocean waters, and great cuisine. I even had a fantastic view of Jupiter, making its closest pass by Earth for the next 22 years. I’d never have come home except…they wouldn’t let me move in for free. Dammit. But I had lazy cat fun. I even read a granny mystery novel Sydney gave me a few years ago, and it was cute, too. (No blood and guts stories for Syd–don’t let the cigar and gun fool you.)

Anyhow, I did try to keep up with my favorite TV shows, including the reality ones. I even found myself watching–gasp!–the Real Housewives of D.C. late one night. Yes, I’m admitting it. But it’s all the fault of all the great bloggers who make me laugh about this crazy series. What can I say? I’m weak! (See our blogroll if you don’t know who they are.)

So mostly what I know about this show and these women is not much, but more than you’d think since I’ve watched so little of it. After seeing about an episode and a half of the D.C. gals and their spouses, surprise! I actually kind of like this group. It’s got all the elements the others do, but with less vitriol, somehow.

I saw Tark the Snark get drunk and go after Mary, who was his dinner guest, no less, scaring her to death by claiming her daughter Lolly (where do they come up with these names?) was going to be arrested by the FBI for grand theft of an expensive vehicle and polo equipment of his. Also a guest at the table when this transpired, Jason scored big points for telling Snark he’d be over the table and on top of him if he said that about his daughter, and Snark better be glad she wasn’t mine, either. Mary just cried. 

But that Mary has issues with Lolly’s sticky fingers herself.  So much so that Mary’s master closet, where she spends quality time–??–has some kind of security system to keep Lolly out. If only Mary could remember to shut the door. What? I swear, if I were lucky enough to have a daughter, I’d be so happy I’d never think of getting upset over her using my clothes. Can’t Mary buy Lolly clothes of her own she likes? Can’t she just buy a replacement? I don’t get it. I thought these people have money. Mary certainly has enough customized closet to look like she has money. But there’s Mary, making faces at that charity fashion runway to-do because she sees Lolly in her dress. And why is Lolly so hell-bent on wearing Mary’s stuff? I suspect this is deeper than clothing. What’s really going on in that closet, Mary?  

I like Stacy and Jason, though I think Stacy should warn her birth mother she’s going to drop the “black sister” on her unsuspecting half-brother to get info on who her father is. Birth mom might be willing to give up that info to keep that from happening, sparing them all the trauma. I do wonder if birth mom is watching this show. We don’t yet know how that turned out, but I’d be so proud if Stacy were my daughter.

Matronly Lynda is…odd…to me. I probably only feel that way because of that stupid satin dress she wears during her segment of the opening of the show: it makes her look very wide, being so short. Few women can wear satin–very few, even in Hollywood. But whoever dresses the casts for this Bravo franchise puts them in satin all the time, to their everlasting shame. It’s tacky; cellulite broadcast in high-definition, lumpy, frumpy, and the only one who can carry it off is LuAnn, but only once, not all the damn time, Lu! Other than that, Mary seems a little arrogant, but it’s Washington, so having a thick skin is required. Her family and boyfriend are nice.

Then there’s Cat…oh Cat…how can I not like CAT?! Huh? Smartass, rude, crude, voice like sandpaper, pulls no punches, then melts and rolls over to get her tummy rubbed at the drop of an insult in her direction. She’s my kind of feline.

The Salahis are providing the crazy to this gang. Seems they’re drama, drama, drama. Mama drama, in fact, since Snark going near Oasis, the family winery he is so desperate to wrest from his parents, leads to his mama calling the police on him and Michaelelaela. It’s so melodramatic they need security guards and dogs when they go there. Considering the place looks like nobody has squeezed a drop of wine from those vines in ages, what are they going to do? Pee on a wine barrel? Michaelelalea says she and Snark want to bring Oasis back to its heyday, and maybe even better. But they don’t seem to have any money to speak of, though they’re looking to buy a house where they can entertain 250 people–in the D.C. area–in the range of $100K to $12 mil, give or take. HA HA HA HA  HA!! They are a couple of clowns, aren’t they?  

The Snarks are the kind of people who are always playing a shell game: where is the truth? Under this shell? No? How about this one? No? You will never get a straight story from them. They’re grifters, plain and simple. They create an image and then operate as if it’s reality. By the time the people they’re conning get suspicious, the Snarks are spinning another dramatic tale to confuse things even more. Catching on is hard because they’re always a few steps ahead of their marks, who don’t even know the game is on. Not to worry, though, because they tipped their hand by appearing on this show. They’re exposed now. Like Danielle Staub, another grifter whose real character couldn’t withstand the scrutiny of a national audience, their days on TV are numbered.  

All in all, though, this cast hasn’t gotten violent–bodyguards and Doberman notwithstanding; nobody has had a break with reality–Prozac haze doesn’t reach that level; nobody has a criminal record so far that I’ve seen–White House crashing and Whoopi-bashing don’t qualify. They’re actually a kinder, gentler brand of wacky Housewives. I’m not finding myself upset when I watch…just pleasantly amused to see what kind of silliness they can conjure up in D.C. Maybe I missed it, but I have read some blogs about it and…no high dudgeon comes to mind.

So these are my thoughts, which I’m pretty cheeky to even offer since I barely have watched the show.  Well, if an Irish cat can’t be cheeky, then who can?

And the wiener winner is…

This was a waste of 2 hours…they could have easily done the final HOH, eviction, and wrap-up show in an hour with 20 minutes to spare counting commercials…the show was contrived, listening to the jury deliberate was scripted, and the final decision was to base a decision on ‘social skills’ in the house since the BG controlled the vote in the game the entire time…so what did they do? They voted NOT on social skills but on who won the most competitions, and Hayden won 500k, Lane won 50k, Brit got the fan favorite 25k and we are all now safe for another 6 months…hopefully!

The funniest part of this show was when Julie Chen had the 2nd saboteur stand up, and Ragan did…you still couldn’t tell if he was standing or sitting…he just kinda slid into position…one minute he was facing the audience (sitting) and the next minute he was facing the jury (standing), besides a pain in the patootie…he’s tiny! Hey Napoleon…it’s for youhoo…..Until next time …Ciao